Big Time Problems
by Britney Louise
Summary: The guys are all having suspicions about James...could he have feelings for Logan?
1. Chapter 1

**James's POV**

"Come on guys! It's not funny!" James yelled while the guys ran around the hotel room with his Lucky White V-neck. Carlos was jumping on the couch with it, and as soon as James reached for it, he threw it to Logan.

"I'm open!" Kendall yells. The shirt flies over to him, but James snags it from mid air. The guys are all laughing, and James pulls the shirt on over his tank top.

"Aw, come on James. Don't pout." Logan teases. His eyes sparkle with amusement. He has gorgeous eyes….wait, what? Did I just think that about Logan?

"Are you all right?" Carlos asks him, and James snaps out of his daze.

"Yeah…I just need some fresh air." He says, and then walks out to the pool.

**Kendall's POV**

"What was that all about?" Carlos asks.

"It was probably nothing. James is just probably thinking about Gustavo's new song or something." Kendall says. Gustavo had written a TERRIBLE song called "Girls with Hair" for them to sing, and James really didn't want to sing it.

"Speaking of Gustavo, we have to be at the studio in 20 minuets, so we should probably get ready." Logan informs us.

"Come on, relax Logan. All you ever do is worry." Kendall says. They all walk out to the pool. James is sitting by the fire pit looking out into the distance, totally zoning out.

"Who wants to jump from the edge of the roof to the pool with me?" Carlos asks excitedly. He puts on his helmet.

"Only if you want to be on the show "Biggest Idiots of America"." Logan says. Carlos just keeps smiling and runs away, to who knows where.

"I better follow him to make sure he doesn't kill himself." Logan sighs, and runs off too. Kendall goes over to James. He needed to know what was up.

"Hey." He says as he sits down.

"Hey." James says, like half of him is in a different world.

"What's up?" Kendall asks.

"Nothing." James says, still looking out into the distance, blushing. Kendall follows his gaze, and realizes he's looking at someone. And it's not a girl. It's Logan.

"Who are you staring at?" Kendall asks, hoping he was wrong.

"What? Oh, um, nobody." He says nervously, and then clears his throat.

"It looked like you were staring at Logan." Kendall says, try to sound casual.

"No, of course not. Why would I be staring at him?" James says, still nervous.

"Never mind." Kendall says. James was acting really weird. Usually he would tell Kendall everything that was on his mind.

"I got to go get ready to go to the studio." James says quickly, and then hurries away. What was his problem?

**James POV**

Kendall has suspicions about me. This isn't good. I didn't realize I was staring at Logan; I was just trying to figure out what I was feeling. I don't like Logan. Not that way. I couldn't! We are good friends, that's it! I'm not gay….am I?


	2. Chapter 2

**Logan's POV**

Logan was wrestling with Carlos, trying to get his phone back. Carlos was going to throw it into the pool to see how many people he could shock, but didn't realize in the process he would ruin a brand new LG shine cell phone.

"Come on, just, gimme, ah, Carlos, please! Give it back!" Logan was stammering, while jumping up trying to get the phone.

"Just let me try it once!" Carlos was whining.

"No! You'll ruin my phone! And do you know how much money it would cost for these people to be treated for electrical shock?"

"Aw, come on, you ruin everything." Carlos complains, stopping in mid motion, giving Logan just enough time to grab his phone and run.

"HA!" he yells, snatching the phone.

"Oh, it's on!" Carlos yells, putting on his helmet. I better run. Carlos and Logan take off running around the pool. Finally they collapse by the fire pit, out of breathe.

"Ya know, if, I, had, more, breathed…." Carlos breathes between each word, "I would have, won."

"Sure, sure." Logan says back. He looks over at Kendall, who looks worried. "Kendall? Are you alright?" he asks.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about you and James." He says.

"Me and James? What about us?" Logan asks. He couldn't think of anything they had done wrong. Well, other than be 2 minuets late to rehearsal yesterday. But they all did that, all the time.

"Oh, did I say you and James? I meant, uh, Sue and….James. Yeah, Sue and James." He said, and Logan could tell he was lying. Logan could tell a lot of things about people by just looking at them. For instance, when he first saw Carlos, he knew becoming friends with him would be a dangerous task. And he was right.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said you." Logan points out.

"Who is Sue?" Carlos says, with his mouth hanging open like a moron. Logan rolls his eyes.

"There is no Sue you idiot." Logan says.

"Sue is, uh, a pen salesman. Yeah, she came by earlier and got ink all over James. It made him mad, so, uh, I'm worried about them." He lies, again. Kendall was a pretty good liar, but Logan was a good lie detector. So it didn't work.

"Oh that makes sense." Carlos says.

"No, it doesn't. Spill Kendall." Logan says, waiting intently. It wasn't like Kendall to try this hard to lie. He told them everything.

"Psh, there's nothing to spill. Jeez." He says, looking around wildly. "Was that palm tree always there?" he asks nervously.

"Dude, stop trying to change the subject. Just tell us what's up."

"He already told us man. There's a pen salesman named Sue! Duh!" Carlos says.

"Hey, Carlos, why don't you go and find a girl to harass or something." Logan says. Carlos will do anything if it has to do with girls. Logan didn't get it. Girls weren't really that special to him.

"Ok!" he says enthusiastically, with that dumb grin on his face. Then he runs over to a table of women.

"Alright Kendall. If you don't tell me what's up, you know I'll find out anyway." Logan presses. He wanted to know what was bothering him.

"Fine. It's just; I think James is having some problems." He states.

"What kind of problems? Are they medical problems? Because you know I want to be a doctor, and—"

"No, it's more of a personal problem." Kendall cuts off.

"Oh, well, what's it have to do with me?" he asks. Logan had no idea what the problem could be. But he wanted to help James. He'd always liked James more than the other guys, but it seemed like Kendall and James were tighter than James and him.

"Look, I'd like to say, but I think I should give James some more time to figure it out." Kendall says looking down.

"Oh, ok. I'll just go talk to him then." Logan says, starting to get up.

"I bet he'd like that." Kendall mumbles.

"What was that?" Logan asked. He couldn't hear over the sound of Carlos falling into the pool, after a girl pushed him in.

"Nothing." Kendall says quickly, with his eyes wide.

"Well ok then. Off to James." Logan says, and then walks away. He needed to know what's up. He was always there for James. James was different from the other guys. There is just something about him I can't explain.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I finally updated this story! :D yay!!!! **

**Kendall's POV**

I don't know why James is gay. I don't care why. I just know that he needs help. He may not even know he is, but once he figures it out, he'll hate himself. He's always talked about girls, but I've noticed more and more that he looks at guys too. I know he wants to be straight. I KNOW. We've been friends long enough that I can read him like a book. And I see the way he looks at Logan, it's like how I look at Camille. We had been dating for about 4 months, and I really liked her. Apparently, James feels strongly for Logan. I can see it. Logan was totally oblivious to it. I'm not sure of he likes James or not. It's really hard to tell what Logan is thinking. He's a good liar. I watch as Logan walks inside. Who knows what's about to happen.

**Jame's POV**

I walk inside the Palm Woods, straight to the elevator. It gets here, and Camille steps out.

"Hey James. Logan and Kendall out there?" she asks.

"Huh? Logan?" I ask, sweat forming on my forehead. "Why do you mention him?"

"We're planning a suprise party for Carlos....remember? I was wondering where the other guys were...." she says, looking at me strangly.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry. I forgot."

"Are you okay?" she asks with concern.

"Yeah, yeah i'm fine. I just....got to go pick my nose! Bye!" I yell, lying quickly, and rushing into the elevator. I hit the button labeld "basement" over and over, needing to get away from Camille as quick as possible. No one could talk to me, I'd freak out. The doors finally close, and the elevator starts to move. But not down, up. Shit. Someone needed to get on the elevator. It finally stops at level 7, and Tyler gets on.

"Hey James!" he yells enthusiastically.

"Hello Tyler." I say dully. I'm not in the mood for him.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Getting ready for rehersal."

"Then why are you going to the basement?" Tyler asks. Stupid curiosity.

"I'm not. I hit the wrong button." I lie, through gritted teeth.

"Well then why don't you hit the right one?" the annoying kid asks.

"Fine. I'll hit it. Happy?" I say, annoyance clear in my voice. I hit a random button.

"Why'd you hit 7? That's the floor we were just on." Tyler infomrs me, pissing me off to the limit.

"DAMMIT TYLER! BECAUSE I CAN! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" I scream at him, and he puts his head down, finally shutting up. We ride the rest of the way to the basement, and I get out. He starts to say bye, but looks at my glare and decides not to. Good choice. The doors of the elevator shut, and now I'm alone in the basement, other than a couple of workers. I always go down there when I need to think. There's this little supply closet that has a trapdoor, leading into a second basement that was built as a bomb shelter, but no one used it anymore. It was full of extra food and water, that was probably centuries old. It was really dusty, but a good quiet place to be alone. Once I'm down there, I walk across the big dim room, and into the closet. The trap door is really heavy, but I manage to open it. I climb down into a room that can't be more than 8 feet wide. Standing up my head hits the roof, so I sit down on an old crate full of crackers, and start to think.

**Logan's POV**

I walk into the lobby of the Palm Woods, looking around to see if I can find James. I barley catch him as the doors to the elevator close. I walk over and hit the button, trying to get it to come back down, but it's too late.

"You can try the stairs." someone says from behind me. I turn around, and it's the hotel manager.

"No, I'll just wait for him." I reply, smiling.

"Very well." he answers, rolling his eyes. Huh. I stand by the elevator for a few min, and it finally comes back down. I expect the doors to open, but the elevator just keeps going. It must be going to the basement. I'll just wait some more. It was worth it to find out what was wrong with James. I couldn't explain it, but he was really important to me. I guess he was my best friend. The elevator comes back up again, and the doors open revealing Tyler, not James. Tyler looks upset about something. I expect him to say hey, but he just starts to walk by me.

"Hey Tyler." I say casually.

"Oh, hey Logan." he says with what seems like relief.

"What wrong?"

"Nothing. James just kinda flipped out on me." he replies sadly.

"Oh, you saw James? Where'd he go?" I ask eagerly.

"He got off at the basement, and he looked pretty upset." he replies.

"Ok. Thanks." I say, and Tyler starts walking again. "Oh, and Tyler?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let James bother you. He's been in a bad mood all day." I tell him. I don't want him being a jerk to James.

"Okay." he says, and bounces away.

"I step into the elevator, and hit the basement button. I wonder why he's down there. Maybe he needed a worker or something. It takes about 30 seconds for him to get down to the basement, and the doors open. He steps in, looking around the dark room. He doesn't see James, so he walks over to the groundskeeper.

"Hey, did you see a tall guy with shaggy brown hair?" I ask him, and he points to a supply closet.

"Oh, thanks." I say, and start walking towards the closet. I open the door, expecting James to be standing there, but he's not. It's completely empty. My heart drops into my chest. Why am I this dissapointed he isn't in here? It's just James....I try to think like that, but I'm still upset I didn't find him. I guess I'm just a determind person, and it had nothing to do with James. Yeah, I'm determind. That's when I look down and see a shiny silver knob sticking out of the floor. I walk over, and realize it's the handle of a trap door. Maybe James is down there....wow I'm obbsessive about this search....I pull on the handle with one hand, but the door doesn't budge. I try two hands, and it lifts a little, and then drops with a loud slam. I've never been very strong.  
"Who's there?" an echo asks. It almost sounds like it came from.......underground! James was under there, I'd know his voice anywhere!

"It's Logan. Can you open this door?" I ask loudly. Suddenly the door flys open, revealing James's head.

"What do you want?" he snaps at me, glaring at me.

"I just wanted to know what was bothering you." I say shrug. What had put him in such a foul mood? "Was it that whole "lucky white v-neck" thing?" I tease. He blushes, and then looks down. Why'd he blush?

"Nah, I just need to think." he replies, and then sinks back down into the trap-door room.

"I'll think with ya." I say, and crawl down into the room, shutting the trap-door behind me. "Dude, there's not even enough room to stand in here!" I complain.

"Yeah, but it's a good quiet place to relax." James explains. He's sitting on some kind of crate, with his head in his hands. It hurt to see him so upset, I had to find out why.

"So what are you thinking about?" I ask.

"Nothing. Just some problems." he says sadly. "A-CHOO!" he randomly sneezes, making me jump and hit my head. Then he starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I demand.

"You jumped like 3 feet in the air dude!" he says, still laughing.

"Well that sneeze was unexpected. Speaking of sneezes, do you know how much dust must be cummulated in here? These particles could give you serious allergies." I say in my doctor voice.

"Ha-ha, yeah." he laughs, then blushes again.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I ask, wondering about him.

"Doing what?"

"Blushing!" I reply. "It's weird, are you high or something?" Then I come to a quick conclusion. "Oh my god, is this where you smoke!?!?" I yell franticly. "Do you know how bad that is for you body? It causes diseases, it ruins your teeth, you get in foul moods, you neglect your friends and family, you-"

And suddenly his lips are on mine. Holy shit. I'm shocked. James is kissing me.

And I want to kiss back.

**What do ya think? Lemme know!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been a while since I've written...I'm overwhelemed with homework! So here's chapter 4 :D**

**Jame's POV**

Why am I doing this? Logan isn't gay! Dammit, why does he have to be so irresistable!?!? He's probably going to tell the other guys! What am I going to do? I break the kiss.

"Uh, you don't have to...?" I say awkwardly.

"Er....uh....yeah....I don't....I'm gonna go...." he replies, awkwardly scrambling for the door. His eyes are huge with suprise. What have I just done here? He thinks I'm some kind of freak. My heart sinks. What had I been expecting? For him to actually _like _me? God, I am an idiot. I watch as he tries to lift the door, but it doesn't budge. I stand up.

"I can help you if-"

"NO! NO! I GOT THIS!" he screams at me. He looks crazy.

"Ok." I say quietly, and sit back down. He's still trying desperatly to open the door. He finally stops, and leans over panting. We sit there in silence. This is the most awkward thing I've ever done in my entire life. And I had done a lot of awkward things.

"James...." Logan starts to say, "I'm...uh....not...uh....gay...." he says, not looking at me, instead he looks at the floor.

"Yeah, I know." I answer. Silence follows.

"Then...why...?" he finally says.

"I don't know." I answer. This felt like a dream. Maybe it was. But I doubt it.

"Oh." he says, and more silence comes after. My heart felt like it was a race car. It wouldn't slow. This time the silence seems to stretch for eternity. I have to say something....

"I can help....if you want." I offer, awkwardly pointing towards the door. Logan hesitates, but finally agrees. I slowly walk over to the door, and lift my arm. I swear I see Logan flinch at the swift movement. My heart seems to falter for a moment when I see he's so scared of me. I never meant for this to happen....

"Er, uh, thanks...." he mumbles, and quickly climbs out of the room. As I scramble after him, I see him sprint to the elevator. I start to walk over towards him, but he sees me, and runs up the stairs instead of waiting for me. A single tear runs down my face.

**Logan's POV**

Oh my god. OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPEND!?!?! I scream inside my head. James had _kissed_ me. And why did I want to kiss back!?!? I'm not gay! I'M NOT!!!! I've always liked girls! I've had 6 girlfriends in my life! And NEVER any boyfriends! So why, now, do I feel like this about James? I'm not gay. I don't like James. I WON'T like James!!! I can't let this happen. I have to stay away from him. That's why I had ran from him. I couldn't become gay for him. NEVER. I reach the top of the stairs, and check to see if James had followed me. As far as I could tell he hadn't. I walk over, and collapse on the lobby couch.

"Dude, what happend? It looks like you've been raped or something." Carlos says to me, hitting me on the back.

"Nothing." I reply through gritted teeth. Carlos was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. Then the elevator dings, and James steps out. On second thought, he is the last person I want to talk to. He looks at me longingly with his deep brown eyes, and then turns away. I let my eyes linger on him a momment, and then snap out of it when Carlos claps in my face.

"Logan!" he yells in my face.

"Oh, uh, what?" I stutter, still looking after James. I watch him walk out of the Palm Woods door, and into the sunshine. I love the way his hair shines....no. No I don't. Scratch that. I'm not gay!

"We have to go to rehersal. We're 17 minuetes late." he says, showing my his cell phone. I look, and sure enough, it's 2:17, and we were supposed to be there at 2:00.

"Oh shit! Where's Kendall?" I ask franticly, getting into my professional mode. There's no time to think about James right now.

"He's still at the pool." Carlos says, jabbing a finger backwards.

"Alright, thanks dude. Just, uh, play with this for now. And don't do anything stupid!" I call after me as I run towards the pool. I toss carlos a potted plant.

"Haha, awesome!" I faintly hear Carlos comment, as I walk away. Idiot. I spot Kendall sun bathing in a chair by Guitar Dude. I grab his arm and jerk him awake.

"The icecream is in the snakes tunnel!!!" he yells, bursting awake from his dream.

"Huh?" I ask confused.

"Oh, Logan. How was your date with James?" he asks, sleepily rubbing his eyes. My whole body goes numb.

"What?" I gasp. How did he know?

"Oh, uh, I mean, your talk. Yeah, your talk." he says, now fully awake.

"No. You said date. Now spill Kendall, or I'll get Frieghtrain on your ass!" I threaten, glaring straight into his eyes.

"Uh, ok..." he says, hesitating as he looks into my glare. He shakes his head. "Well, I've noticed James acting funny around you....and er...you act weird around him...and I just pick up on vibes easily, you know that....." he drags on awkwardly. I swear I could feel the color drain out of my face, then come back in my rage.

"I AM NOT GAY!! I DON'T LIKE JAMES! I NEVER WILL LIKE JAMES! I HATE HIM!" I scream, blowing up in Kendalls face. I had never been so angry in my life. "SO GET OFF MY ASS ABOUT IT, AND STOP WITH ALL YOUR PHYSCOLOGY!!!!" I scream again,and the pool goes silent. I just sit there panting, my hand gripped around Kendalls shirt neck. The only noise you can hear are the birds chirping.

"Whoaaaa dude!" I hear guitar dude say, and quickly silence him with a glare. Everyone is staring at us. I let go of Kendall, and turn around only to face the person I was just yelling about. James. He's staring at me with tears glimmering in his eyes, and his face is bright red.

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, OKAY!?!" he screams desperatly, his hands thrown up in the air. "I DIDN'T WANT TO BE GAY! I DON'T WANT TO LIKE YOU! ALRIGHT?!? I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT!" he sobs, putting his hands down, looking at me expectantly for a response. I don't know what to say. I feel my eyes starting to well up with tears.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. James doesn't calm down.

"Nobody wants me!" he yells, then settles into a whisper. "Nobody." I faintly hear. Then he turns around, and walk away. I'm left standing there with everyone staring at me, including Kendall. This was humilitating. The tears start to fall.

**Talk about drama ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is a reeeeally dramatic chapter...review please!**

**Kendall's POV**

I'm in shock. I don't think I've ever seen James this upset. I've only ever seen him cry 3 times before in the 8 years I'd known him, this being one of them. What had happend while I was asleep? I swear I only napped for about 20 minuetes at the least! Logan was still standing there frozen looking where James had stormed out. His eyes are shining with tears.

"Uh, are you ok?" I ask tentivly. Logan doesn't even look at me. His face is bright red. The whole pool was looking at him for an answer.

"Um....I....uh...." he stammers, looking around at the crowd. He must be to embarrased to speak. I had to help him.

"If you didn't notice, James and Logan just had a fight. But, it's a fake fight. They're taking up acting, just like Camille. So go back to your lives." I announce to everyone, quickly thinking up a lie. Everyone turns away and starts talking again. I see Logan let out a sigh of relief.

"Uh, thanks man." he mumbles, and tries to walk away. But I grab his arm, and force him to look at me.

"Dude, tell me what happend." I command. I can't just let this go.

"Nothing!" he snaps, and jerks his arm away. "It's none of your buisness. Just leave me alone, alright? By the way, we're late for rehersal. You better get ready." he says quickly, and then quickly runs away. But I didn't care about the rehersal, I could conivince Gustavo to let it slide. I had to find out what was up with my two best buds. I walk out of the pool area, and go to find James for answers.

**James's POV**

My heart was broken. I had always thought that line was cheesy and over-dramatic, but now I understand how it feels. When I heard Logan say he hates me, I...I...I felt like I would never be happy again. I heard my heart drop. Nobody needs me. Or wants me. My parents never call, the guys are all teasing me, and Logan hates me. Logan. Hates. Me. More tears slide down my face. What's the point of living? I love Logan. But he hates me. I run out of the Palm Woods and into an ally. I slide down the wall and bury my head in my hands. I let all my tears out. Why did I have to be gay? Why? People will tease me and guys will never want to hang around me. Especially Logan. And Kendall and Carlos too. I was going to lose the person I loved and my best friends. I start to sob even louder, and my whole body is shaking. I don't deserve to be alive. No one loves me. NO ONE. Not even my own parents! I finally stop crying and look up. There's a ladder in the ally leading up to the roof of a old office building. It was about 4 stories tall. It gives me an idea. I start to climb it. About half way up I look back down. This height wouldn't kill me, but 2 more stories up might. Even if I don't die, I'll still have to suffer through the pain I deserved for being gay. GAY. I hate that word. It makes me want to gag. I finally get to the top of the building, and look over the edge. I get a little sick looking down at the ground. If I aim right, I could land right by the door of the Palm Woods. Then Logan would see that I didn't want this. He might not hate me if he realizes I don't want to like boys. I gulp, and then turn around. On the roof of the building there was a brick wall about 4 feet up around the edge. I'll have to climb on top of it before I jump. But I wasn't ready yet. I wanted to die hearing the song that told how I feel. And I wanted to see Logan's face. I pull out my cell phone, and go to audio. I scroll down, and hit play on the song "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. It's sweet melody starts to play.

_"Closed off from love  
I didn't need the pain  
Once or twice was enough  
And it was all in vain  
Time starts to pass  
Before you know it you're frozen_

Then I go to pictures and pull up one of Logan and I. A tear runs down my face as I look at his crooked half-smile.

_But something happened  
For the very first time with you  
My heart melts into the ground  
Found something true  
And everyone's looking round  
Thinking I'm going crazy  
_

I stand up, and look over the edge of the wall, down to the ground. Kendall walks out of the Palm Woods and looks up at me, somehow meeting my eyes even though the glaring, setting sun is right behind me. He looks at my face, and I know he can see I'm crying. His eyes get wide. I put one foot over the edge of the wall, and force myself to break our eye contact. Out of the corner of my eye I see him run inside, probably to get someone. But by the time they get up here it will be too late. That thought makes me cry more.

_But I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
You cut me open and I_

Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open

Now I have both feet over the edge, and I'm sitting with my eyes closed, savoring the beautiful lyrics that explained exactly how I feel. I hear someone scream my name, but keeped my eyes closed.

_Trying hard not to hear  
But they talk so loud  
Their piercing sounds fill my ears  
Try to fill me with doubt  
Yet I know that the goal  
Is to keep me from falling_

_  
_The yelling gets louder, and I hear at least 3 voices. Probably more. I try to focus on how amazing the sensation of falling will be. Then I open my eyes and glance at Logan's picture again, where he has his arm around my shoulder. My eyes cry even more.

_But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace  
And in this world of loneliness  
I see your face  
Yet everyone around me  
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe  
_

I put my phone on the ground, and let myslef remember the beauty of Logan's voice. **"**_**James!" **_it says in my head...it sounded so real...._**"JAMES!"**_ I hear again. I snap my eyes open. It wasn't my imagineation. It was Logan. I look down, and see him looking up at me waving his arms around. "James, I'm sorry! Just get down!" he screams desperatly.

_But I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein  
That I keep on closing  
You cut me open and I_

"I love you Logan! I LOVE YOU! BUT THAT ISN'T GOOD! IT ISN'T RIGHT!" I scream in response.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open_

I just stare at his beautiful face. He didn't really want me to come down. He hates me. I hoist myself up so that I'm standing on the edge of the office building, almost losing my balance before I was ready. I hear people gasp at me, but regain my balance.

"JAMES, GET DOWN!!!!" I hear Kendall say, but ignore him. I see Logan run for the ladder that I had climbed up. I had to jump fast. This was tearing me apart. It was like Logan was teasing me, like he really did care about me. I take a deep breath.

_And it's draining all of me  
Oh they find it hard to believe  
I'll be wearing these scars  
For everyone to see_

I hear Logan's feet behind me, and quickly turn around, almost falling again. He's out of breath, and his face is contorted in pain. "James...I...." he gasps, reaching out with one hand.

_I don't care what they say  
I'm in love with you_

He didn't really want me. But I loved him.

_They try to pull me away  
But they don't know the truth_

I have to jump. I close my eyes, and turn back around. The music was still playing. A wind starts to ruffle my hair. This was it.

"James, stop! You don't have to do this!" Logan cries desperatly, running up behind me.

_My heart's crippled by the vein_  
_That I keep on closing  
You cut me open and I_

_  
_"I love you." I say, never turning around.

"NO JAMES!" he yells in response.

I jump.

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" he screams, in a desperate attempt to let me know. A shockwave of happiness hits me, then bitterness. He was just doing it to tease me. He didn't really love me.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

The sensation was amazing! The wind in my face, and knowing that all the pain would be over soon!

_I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love_

"JAMES!" Logan screams from behind. I'll remember his voice forever. The pavement seems to be coming at me in slow motion.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open and I_

_  
_ I flinch as I see the ground about to meet me. I hope Logan will remember me.

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding  
I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love_

Excruciating pain hits me like a brick wall when I smack into the pavement, but it's over soon.

_You cut me open and I_

_Keep bleeding  
Keep, keep bleeding love...._

My eyes drift shut, and everything goes blank.

**:O.....review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So sorry I haven't updated in a long time! But it's finally summer, so I should have plenty of time to write now. This chapter is kinda short, but it's kinda like a transition thingy. So here ya go **

**Logan's POV**

I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't blink. All I can do is stare down at James's motionless body. He looks so broken. There is a pool of red around him, but I refuse to belive it's blood. I want to be a doctor, but I can't stand watching one of my friends bleed. Especially one I love. I try to turn away but can't. I'm frozen in shock. I need to know he's ok, but can't make myself scream his name. I feel a single tear fall from my cheek, and watch it fall all 4 stories down and land with a splash two feet from the body. More and more start to fall. James tried to kill himself, because of me. _Me_. He could be dead. I could have killed James. Suddenly i'm on the ground, lying in the fetal position. I rock back and forth. I did this. I'm the reason James wants to die. I hear footsteps behind me, but don't turn and look. I can hear sirens in the distance, but don't try and hear what's going on. All I want to do is disapear. Like a ghost.

"There he is." a familiar voice says from behind.

"Logan! Come on, help me get him up." another one rings. I'm suddenly grasped around both arms, and lifted into the air. Now I'm leaned against a wall. I'm still staring at nothing.

"It's okay Logan, talk to me." Kendall says, patting me on the back. But I know he's lying; his voice is shakey from crying. It's not okay.

"Yeah, James will be fine. He has to be." Carlos agrees, and I hear him plop down next to me. I can see them staring at me from the corner of my eyes. After a long silence filled minuete, I speak.

"It's not okay." I say hoarsly, my voice cracking like it hadn't been used in weeks.

"Huh?" Carlso asks stupidly. I turn to face him.

"It's. Not. Okay." I say through gritted teeth. "James hates me. No-he loves me. And I could have killed him." I explain, and drop my head into my hands. No one says anything for a while.

"It's not your fault." Kendall says with a sob. I look up to see that he's crying again. "It's no one's fault."

"But it is! He kissed me, and I ran off. Then I screamed and said I hated him, right in front of his face. Have you ever had the one you love scream that they hate you?" I shout in his face. He nods his head no and looks down. I turn to Carlos, who does the same.

"Is he okay?" I whisper quietly. No one answers me. "I said, is he okay!" I scream.

"I don't know." Kendall answers solemly.

"Well is he...ya know..." I kinda stutter, but I can't make myself say the last word. Dead. It's what we were all thinking.

"I don't know." Kendall answers again.

"The doctors said he was still breathing. But he looked really bad." Carlos answers for Kendall. Usually Carlos would be acting like a complete moron, but the whole James thing seemed to calm him down.

"I know. I saw the...blood..." I said quietly.

"His face was really scraped up. I think he'll have some scars." Carlos says again. James will hate that. He loves to be pretty...I can't imagine his beautiful features all disfigured...I'll still love him..._I love James_...the thought made me shiver. I never thought I'd be gay. Ever. But James had changed that...

"It's okay Logan. It's not your fault." Kendall says. I stand up, and start to walk away.

"But it is." I say in finality, and climb the ladder down to the scene below.

**Jame's POV**

I don't know where I am. I think I'm dead, but everything is dark. I can hear voices, but they all sound muffled. Way up ahead I can see a circle of light. It's fuzzy around the edges. The closer I get to it, the less pain i'm in. It feels better. I start to walk towards it, but stop. My instincts are telling me to go towards it, but my brain is thinking something different. Something logical.

_"Don't go into the light, James."_ it says.

"Why?" I ask into the darkness, and it echos all around.

_"Because you'll die." _it replys.

"But that's what I want." I answer.

_"Is it really?"_ my brain asks, and then is silent. This plan didn't turn out like I thought it would. Do I really want to die? I'll never be able to see anyone again. Kendall, Carlos, Mom, Dad..._Logan_. His name makes my whole body quiver, and I yelp in pain. Every movement hurts more. If I love Logan so much, why do I never want to see him again? I just have to accept the fact that I'm...gay...god, I hate the thought. I start to cry. The light is getting closer. I have to decide if I want to die. Do I even have a choice? It may be too late. I start to back away, but run into a wall. I sqeal at the pain that hits my shoulder. _What the hell? _I turn around, and push against the wall. It shakes a little, but doesn't move. It's too late. I'm dying. I can't go back! No! I need Logan...even if he doesn't love me! No! I start to shake, crying uncontrolably, banging on the wall. The pain all over is excruciating, but I have to keep fighting. I should never have jumped. I was too ingnorant, I thought without my brain. It was too fast. I try to push the wall, but my whole body seizes up, and I fall over. I can't move. My arms and legs are binded to my body. This is it. I'm gonna die. Tears flood down my face. The light gets closer. No! No! Please! I don't want to die! I try to scream, but my mouth is clamped shut.

I close my eyes as the light engulfs my body.

**That's some serious shiz right there. Review **


	7. Chapter 7

**So here is chapter 7!**

Logan's POV

"_I love you." _I hear, echoing over and over again in my head. I'm standing on the sidewalk, watching as James's broken body is pushed into the ambulance. I'm crying silently. Everyone is staring at me, but no one is talking. I can't believe what has happened today. It was all good, teasing James and having rehearsal, but then it had turned into a complete nightmare. One I can't wake up from. The ambulance pulls away, sirens blaring. I just stare at the street, unmoving. Mrs. Knight walks over, and puts an arm around my shoulder.

"Do you want to go see him in the hospital?" she asks. I shake my head no. Not yet.

"Are you sure?" she asks again. I nod my head yes.

"Ok. If you change your mind, let me know. I think Kendall is going to go down right now." She informs me, and then walks away. I stare at the street again. There is still a crowd of people around me. This wasn't any of their business anymore! Why are they still here! As if Katie can read my mind, she screams at the crowd.

"Get outta here! Can't you see he wants to be alone!" she yells, waving her hands in the air. I can hear in her voice she's been crying. She'd always had a little bit of a crush on James. The crowd starts to move again. I pull Katie into a hug. She actually hugs back.

"It'll be okay Katie." I whisper, and she starts to cry into my shoulder. "See if your big bro will take you to see James, ok?" I tell her, and she nods and walks off. I've always been good with younger kids. So has James….perfect, beautiful James…..I start to think about him, and can't take it any longer. I start to sprint down the street, not caring where I'm going. I turn down the street, and run as fast as I can. I have no idea where I'm going; I just need to get away. Now. After about 20 minuets, I end up at the hospital. I curse at my conscious. It wanted to see James, and had brought me here without my body's permission. Dammit. So much for 'getting away'. I might as well go and check on James….no matter how much it hurts. What if he's already dead? That thought makes me sprint into the hotel lobby, and I slam up again the secretary's desk.

"Yes?" she asks, looking startled.

"I need, to know, where, James Diamond, is." I tell her, short of breath. She nods her head and checks on a clip board.

"I'm sorry, I can't find him on the list." She tells me, and suspicious look on her face.

"What? But he was just brought here by ambulance!" I exclaim, confused.

"Oh, then he may not have a room just yet." She explains, understanding appearing on her face. "Let me check somewhere else." She says, and walks away. I'm left standing in the lobby panting. I had never run so fast. It felt good. After about 5 minuets, the nurse comes back in.

"He was just checked into a room. Number 8B on the third floor." She informs me.

"Thanks!" I say back, and run towards the elevator. I frantically hit the up button, but the elevator is taking too long. I decide to run up the stairs instead. I finally come to his room, but the door is closed. I try and peek into the window, but the bed is blocked by a curtain. Damn. I knock a couple times, but there isn't any answer. I can't see any movement inside either. Oh my god, is he dead? Is that why the curtains are drawn? I begin to freak out, and sit down with my back against the wall. I'll just wait and see what happens….

"Excuse me?" I hear someone say into my ear, jerking me awake. I blink a couple times, and realize I'm still in the hospital. I must have fallen asleep waiting for information about James.

"What are you doing here?" a man in a white coat asks me, looking stern. I get up and stretch.

"I was waiting to see if I could visit my…er….friend." I reply. He doesn't look convinced.

"Which room?" he asks, holding up his clipboard.

"Uh…this one…" I say, pointing behind me.

"Oh. You can't see him. No visitors allowed." He replies, and starts to walk down he hall.

"What!" I call after him, causing him to stop and look back.

"He isn't allowed to have people see him." The man explains.

"Why not?" I ask, gulping.

"He needs a lot of rest. He hasn't woken up yet." The doctor replies, and my heart almost explodes.

"Then shouldn't a doctor be in there with him!" I yell.

"No, I'm sorry son, but he isn't breathing." The doctor says, beginning to get angry. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. The breath is suddenly gone from my body. I begin to gasp for air, and fall to the floor. He isn't breathing? No no no no no! This can't happen! James can't die! I'm starting to wheeze now. I'm holding my chest, gasping for breath.

"Breathe! Breathe for God's sake!" the doctor is screaming, kneeling on the floor next to me. But I can't. I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't see. James. Is. Dying. Maybe already dead. No! NO! Tears begin to fall from my eyes, splattering on the hallway tile. I can hear multiple nurses scrambling to help me. All I can think is about James. _No James! I never wanted this to happen! I love you! I love you James! _ I'm screaming in my head, but nothing will come out of my mouth. Now I'm lying on the floor. My heart is beating way too fast. My eyes are slowly shutting. _James….don't die James…._ I'm thinking to myself. My gasps are coming out shorter, and my eyes are almost shut. My heart is pounding, and I can't even hear anymore.

_James. Don't leave me. _Then I pass out.

***GASP***


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the much wanted chapter 8 :)**

Kendall's POV

_So now two of my friends are in the hospital. What's next? Carlos too? God, what has this group come to? _I'm sitting in the waiting room in the hospital. I know Logan will be alright, he just fainted, but I still need to find out about James. He hadn't breathed for 2 hours now. They finally put a doctor in there with him, after much convincing on my part. Actually...more like threats.

*flashback*

_Kendall: Is James going to be alright?_

_Doctor: I'm not sure. _

_Kendall: Can I go see him?_

_Doctor: No. No one is seeing him. Not even doctors. _

_Kendall: What the hell? There aren't any doctors in there!_

_Doctor: No. He's stopped breathing already. _

_Kendall: YOU HAVE TO TRY AND SAVE HIM! THAT'S WHAT DOCTORS FUCKING DO!_

_Doctor: Just calm down. _

_Kendall: No! I won't! YOUR LETTING MY FRIEND DIE! WITHOUT EVEN TRYING TO HELP HIM! YOUR NOT DOING YOUR JOB! I SWEAR IF HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU I'LL KILL YOU ON THE SPOT! *trys to hit the doctor in the head*_

_Mrs. Knight: Whoa whoa Kendall! Just calm down! *restrains kendall*_

_Kendall: Then tell them to freaking do SOMETHING! *pulled out of lobby by 3 doctors, still kicking and screaming*_

*end flashback*

They had finally allowed me back in, but I had to sit in the corner of the lobby with 2 police men. I sigh. Now I'm not allowed to see James. I'm forced to sit here, wondering about what was happening to him. And Logan. _I never did find out why he had fainted. I know he went for a run and ended up here. But I have no idea why he fainted. Maybe it's just stress about James. Probably. I wonder if he really loves James...I never expected Logan to be gay. James, well, I always suspected he may be. I mean, the perfect hair, the make up, then clothes. It all kinda screams girly. But I'll still love him no matter what. He's still my best bud._

Just then a doctor with a very thick mustache walks over to me.

"Kendall?" he says, staying as far away from me as possible. He looks scared. I smirk to myself.

"Yes?" I ask, curious.

"Your friend, Logan, wants to see you." he tells me.

"Am I allowed to get up, oh master?" I ask sarcastically at the end.

"Uh, sure, just don't touch anything. Or anyone!" he adds quickly.

"Fine." I reply, and get up. Just for fun I put a hand out towards the doctor. He flinches away. _Oh yeah, I got the power. _Then I walk with my head held high and arms flexed over to the elevator. Just to show off my power a little. There's no harm in that. I hit the button, and go up to Logan's room.

Logan's POV

_Is James dead? He can't be dead, he can't be! Why won't any of these doctors answer me? Oh, where's Kendall when you need him?_

As if on cue, Kendall saunters into the room, arms flexed.

"Kendall, what the _hell _are you doing?" I ask him with exasperation in my voice.

"Just showing off for the doctors." he explains, making absolutley no sense. I give him a puzzled look.

"They're scared of me cuz I hit one of them." Kendall tells me, and my jaw drops with disbeleif.

"You _hit a doctor_?" I ask, completely in shock. It wasn't like Kendall to resort to violence. "Why?"

"They wouldn't help James, so I threatend them." he explains, shrugging like it was no big deal. But it was to him. I could see it in his eyes.

"What did they do?" I ask him.

"Now I'm not allowed anywhere without my gaurds."

"What guards?"

"See those two guys standing outside the door?" he asks, pointing towards the hall.

"Yeah."

"Those guards."

"Oh." I reply. And we both sit in silence for a few seconds. Then I start laughing. Not just chuckling, like, hysterically laughing. Then Kendall joins in. After a couple minutes, we finally stop.

"Aw dude, I haven't laughed like that in a while." Kendall says, looking over at me.

"Me neither." I reply.

"Why did you want to see me?" he asks, suddenly serious.

"Oh, uh, I was wondering how James was doing." I tell him, feeling a blush form over my cheeks. Stupid blush.

"I'm not sure. Like I said before, there are doctors in there, but that's all they tell me." he informs me, giving me a sad look.

"Man, the doctors don't let you know anything!" I yell, angry.

"I know. I think I wanna sue or something." he agrees.

The rest of the conversation is just about little things, like Gustavo getting mad about James and I, how Katie was doing, and other stuff. Then the guards told Kendall it was time to leave, and he recluclently agreed. He looked at me like he was never gonna see me again.

"Dude, I'm fine." I lie. My health was fine, but my heart wasn't. He finally walks out, leaving me to my own thoughts.

_I really want to find out about James...they won't even tell me if he's breathng or not. Maybe they think I'm crazy. I probably am. I killed James. Or at least hurt him a lot. If he dies, I'll have to live with this guilt forever. I won't want to go on without him. _

Then I get to a crazy conclusion.

_If James dies, I'm gonna die too. _

**Please review, I love hearing what yall think :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**So chapter nine is here! **

**Kendall's POV**

I wake up to find myself back in my room, lying in my bed. I wipe my groggy eyes, wondering what time it is. And when did I come back home? I walk over to the clock in a daze, and see it's just past midnight. _I wonder if anyone else is home? _I open my door and stumble into the kitchen. Mom is standing over the sink, staring into space.

"Mom?" I ask, startling her. She drops the glass she is holding, spilling water all over the floor.

"Oh, Kendall, you scared me." She says, putting a hand to her chest.

"Sorry." I mumble, and go help pick up the shatter glass.

"What are you doing awake?" she asks me, wiping up the spilled water with the towel.

"I just woke up I guess. When did I get home?" I ask her.

"You fell asleep in the waiting room, so I had the guards help carry you to my car." She answers, hanging the towel up to dry.

"Thanks. But I really want to stay the night there. In case…James…wakes up." I say, swallowing back the tears that want to fall from my eyes. It's hard saying his name without crying. My mom looks up at me, sees the pain on my face, and gives me a hug.

"It'll be ok Kendall. It's going to be alright." She tells me, trying to comfort me.

"How do you know?" I whisper, my voice cracking. I'm trying so hard not to cry. I hate crying.

"Because you're strong. So is James. Everyone will get through this, no matter what the outcome." She replies, hugging me tight. I hug back. We stand there for a couple minuets, embracing. We both jump when the phone rings. I look up at it, but my mom grabs is first.

"Hello?" she asks, I walk over to the kitchen table and sit down. "Oh, hi Doctor Martin." I hear her say, and my head snaps up. I need to hear this. "Oh. Oh wow. Are you sure?" she asks. My heart skips a beat. _Please, please be good news._ "Should we come now?" my mom asks the doctor. My heart is pounding so fast I think it's going to burst out of my chest. "Alright. Thank you." My mom says, and hangs up the phone. Then she turns around to face me. Her eyes are sparkling.

"Is everything ok?" I ask quietly, crossing my fingers under the table.

"James is awake." She announces, a huge smile growing on her face. My stomach flips.

"He's alive? James is alive!" I ask excitedly, hope growing inside of me.

"Yes. The doctors said we can see him immediately." She says,.

"Then let's go!" I exclaim, running towards the door. My mom doesn't move. "Come on!"

"Uh, honey, why don't you put some clothes on first?" she says awkwardly, and I realize I'm shirtless in my boxers. I blush.

"Good plan." I agree, and run to my room.

James is alive.


	10. Chapter 10

**I know it's been a really long time since I've updated this story- too long. But here's Chapter 10 **** This story will probably be over soon. But I could always change my mind. Enjoy!**

**Logan's POV**

I'm laying in my hospital bed, thinking about James. Wondering things like _is he alive? _and _will I ever get to talk to him again? _I'm still thinking these things when a doctor walks in.

"Are you Logan?" he asks me, holding a clip board and looking all official.

"Yeah. Why?" I reply, curious.

"I was told to come in here and inform you that a young man named James is awake." He says. My heart skips a beat. My stomach unknots. I can barley manage to speak.

"James is alive?" I whisper, so quiet I could barley hear myself.

"Yeah. He woke up about an hour ago. Doctors are working with him and running tests to see if he can speak and so on." The doctor says, with no emotion in his voice. I'm so happy I can't speak. I can barley think. All I can feel is sweet, sweet relief. I feel my eyes well up with tears. One silently slides down my cheek. The doctor looks up at me from over his glasses.

"Son, are you okay?" he asks me, looking concerned. I try to say yes, but nothing comes out. I just nod. "Alright. And you're fine. A nurse is going to come in and help clean you up so you can go home." He says before walking out of the room. More tears are falling now. _James is alive! He didn't leave me! I'm not alone! _ The nurse comes in and starts to unplug all the machines from around me. I'm smiling like a retard the entire time.

**James's POV**

"_Nod your head if you can hear me." _I faintly hear a voice say. I attempt to nod my head, but it's so heavy I can barley flinch. It feels heavy as lead.

"_James? Can you move for me? Can you move anything?" _the voice says again. I try to nod my head, but still can't. I try to move my legs, but they're too stiff. I try to lift my arms, but they won't budge. I can't move anything. I'm trying so hard, but I can't. I need to let these people, whoever they are, know that I'm alive. I need to wake up so I can see Logan. But I can't open my eyes. I can't find the strength.

"_I don't think he's gonna make it. It's a lost cause." _Someone else says, The voice sounds like a girl.

"_No, he has to make it! He has too." _A woman says. The voice sounds very, very familiar. But I can't put my finger on it. _"He can't leave this world. He's too young! Too young!" _the familiar woman is bordering on hysterical.

_I know that voice! I've grown up with it. I know it. I know this person! But who is it?_ I'm getting very frustrated now.

"_Honey, sometimes the doctors can't do anything. Sometimes people die. I don't want him to die either."_ A mans voice adds to the conversation. And I know his voice too. I know his and the woman's. _God, these people are so familiar! Who are they?_

"_No! My son will not die! He WILL NOT die!" _the woman screams. And then it hits me. That's my mom. _My mom._ I haven't talked to my mom in 2 years. Or dad. They haven't called since I had left to become famous. They had believed we would fail. My dad had hated me because I was so, as he put it, "feminine". Ugh. And my mom thought I was too selfish and my goals were set too high. She has always been disappointed in me. So the fact that they are at the hospital is shocking. More than shocking. It's…it's…..there are no words to describe how I'm feeling. I'm feeling re-energized, rejuvenated, and empowered. As I hear my mom's sobs and my dad's comforting words I slowly try to lift my eye lids. It may sound easy, but it's very difficult. I eventually feel them lift. I'm squinting. And then my eyes burst open to reveal my crying mother leaning over me. I blink a few times. The light behind her is blinding. I try to adjust to my surroundings as the room is thrown into a frenzy. I hear doctors and nurses saying things like, 'he's awake!" and "Go get Dr. Martin!" around the room. But I'm not looking at them. I'm looking at my parents. The first thing my mom does is throw her arms around me.

"Oh my gosh! James! Oh! James, I love you! Don't you ever scare me like that again!" she sobs into my ear. I feel her tears fall onto my neck. Her whole body is shaking.

"I love you too Mom." I try and say loudly, but it comes out as a hoarse whisper. I hear someone clear their throat. I look over my mom's shoulder and see my dad. He's standing very stiff and uncomfortably at the end of my bed.

"Hey dad." I whisper carefully. I have no idea what he's going to say. He looks very proper with his perfectly cropped brown hair and square glasses perfectly positioned on his nose.

"Hello there James." He says, clasping his hands together. I smile.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry we haven't called you. It's been forever since we've talked!" my mom exclaims.

"It's okay." I reply, but its barley audible.

"Shhh…you don't have to speak." She says, putting her finger to my lips. "I'm just glad you're alive." She says, hugging me again. I'm really happy, until I realize the person I want to see most isn't there.

"Where's Logan?" I ask my mom eagerly.

"Who?" she asks, looking confused.

"Logan. Ya know, my, er, friend." I says timidly. I realize that my parents might not even know about me and Logan. They probably don't even know why I jumped. Unless Kendall or Logan told them. Or Carlos. But Carlos is so stupid he probably doesn't realize what's going on. My stomach lurches when I realize that my dad doesn't know I'm gay. I gulp. Should I tell him now? I look at the stony expression on his face and realize, no, this isn't the place to tell him. I repeat my question instead.

"Where's Logan?"

"Oh, one of your little hockey friends? Probably at the place you're staying. The Palm Tree, correct?" my dad says.

"Palm Woods. Woods, Dad." I correct him.

"Right." He says in a disapproving tone. I sigh. That's my dad. Same old asshole.

"Don't worry, we'll let your friends know you're awake." My mom says, kissing me on the forehead.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Diamond, but we need to examine your son now." Dr. Martin says, and my mom gets up.

"We'll find Logan for you, okay?" my mom says, smiling.

"Ok." I whisper, smiling back.

**So….what do you think about his parents? Haha review plz **


	11. Chapter 11

Logan's POV

After the nurse finishes helping me, I go downstairs to the lobby to sign out of my room. Once I'm done signing out, I turn around and run into someone.

"Oh, sorry ma'am." I say, I start to walk away, but turn back around when I see who the lady is. "Mrs. Diamond?" I ask.

"Yes?" the lady says.

"Um, what are you doing here?" I ask her. I'm so surprised. James's parents never talk to him.

"Excuse me? Do I know you?" she says, looking confused.

"I'm Logan. One of James's friends." I explain. "We're in the band together…?" I say, and understanding comes across her features.

"Oh! Oh, Logan! James was just talking about you!" she exclaims, and throws her arms around me. I'm so surprised at first I don't hug back. Then I smile and hug her in return.

"Oh, really? He's talking?" I say once she pulls away.

"Yes. He asked for me to look for you. You should go up and see him." She says, smiling warmly.

"I will. I was just on my way to his room." I reply. "It was nice to see you." I say, smiling.

"It was great to see you too. I'm going to go to the Palm Woods and get James's other friends." She says. Then she turns and walks towards a man. I'm guessing it's James's Dad. I automatically don't like him. He's standing with his arms crossed and a very stern look on his face. He looks like he'd be very, very strict. James's mom goes over to him and points to me from across the room. I smile nervously and wave at him, but he doesn't even acknowledge me. I awkwardly lower my hand. Jeez, what a jerk. I shake the feeling off and make my way to the elevator.

I finally get to James's room. I pause before I walk in and take a deep breath. I smooth my hair with my hands. Then I go into the room. The first thing I feel when I see James is pain. Pain for him. He looks so frail and innocent. He has dark circles under his eyes and an oxygen tank plugged up to his nose. And a long scratch from his left ear to his chin. I gulp and try to hold back tears.

"Logan?" I hear a quiet, hoarse voice say. It doesn't even sound like James, but it is.

"Hey." I reply, walking over to sit on his bed. I brush his hair back from his forehead. We don't say anything for a while. We just sit there looking at each other. Finally, he says something.

"I love you." He says, so quietly I can barley hear it. I smile.

"I lo-" I start to say, but am interrupted as Kendall walks into the room. He stops when he sees my hand on James's forehead.

"Did I..interupt something?" he asks awkwardly. I just smile sadly. "Oh…sorry."

"It's fine." I hear James whisper. Kendall slowly walks over and looks at James.

"Are you okay?" he asks caringly.

"Yeah. I'm fine." James says, and then lets out a small cough. It's so pathetic it makes my heart hurt.

"You don't look fine." I say quietly. James just sighs.

"I'm better than I was 6 hours ago. Practically dead." James says, looking into my eyes. I'm still trying to hold back tears. Him talking about almost dying isn't helping.

"I really don't know what I'm supposed to say." I say, my voice cracking. I feel Kendall put a hand on my back.

"You don't have to say anything. You being here is enough." James says, as a tear falls down his cheek. That's when my first tear falls too. I lean over and lightly hug him. I don't want to hurt him. I hear Kendall awkwardly clear his throat.

"I'm, er, just gonna give you some alone time." He says, and I hear his footsteps walk out of the room. James and I sit there holding each other for what seems like hours. I finally pull away. We're both crying. James breaks the silence.

"When this band first started, 2 years ago, did you ever imagine anything like this would happen?" he asks me. The question catches me off guard.

"Um, no. I guess not." I say. "Who would have thought this would?" I ask.

"Good point. I sure didn't." he says sadly. "But…in a way I'm glad it did. Because…I get to be with you." He says, blushing. Another tear falls down my face.

"If we do end up….dating….we'll have to come out to everyone. Our fans, Gustavo, your…parents." I say awkwardly.

"I have no idea how to tell them. My mom will probably be okay but…my dad…" he trails off.

"Will be an ass?" I suggest.

"Yeah. He really will be. How'd you guess?" he asks me.

"I saw him in the lobby. Your mom was really nice but your dad didn't even acknowledge me." I tell him.

"Dammit. What are we gonna do?" he says, and I can tell he's getting really worked up.

"Let's just…not think about it right now. Let's just enjoy this moment, okay?" I say, trying to calm him down.

"Ok." He agrees, and I give him a kiss on the cheek.


	12. Chapter 12

**I've gotten some reviews asking where Carlos is. I realize he hasn't been in my story a lot, so I'm putting him in this chapter. Sorry to all the Carlos fans out there **

**Carlos's POV**

"Almost finished!" I yell into the room. I carefully pick up the last piece of bacon, and place it on top of the tower. "There! I did it!" I scream, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Did what?" Katie asks, as she walks into the room.

"Made a 3 foot tower of meat!" I exclaim excitedly.

"Why?" she asks, looking at me like I'm an idiot._ She just doesn't get it._

"Because, it's awesome!" I say, trying to get her to understand.

"Not really. Ooh, is that bacon?" she asks, pointing to the top of the pile.

"Yeah!" I say, grinning at her. She takes a piece, and walks away. _I need to get a picture of this! _I jog to my room to grab the camera. On my way back to the kitchen the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" I yell. I open the door and there's a woman standing there. "Hey." I say to her.

"Hi. Is this where James lives?" she asks, looking at a piece of paper in her hand. It has our room number on it.

"Yeah. But he's not here. He's in the hospital." I say solemnly.

"I know. I'm his mother." She says sadly.

"Oh! Mrs. Diamond! What's up?" I say, recognizing her.

"James was asking for his friends. He's awake if you want to go see him." She tells me.

"Really?" I ask excitedly. "Ah, hold on." I say, torn between James in my meat tower. "I just gotta take one picture!"

"What?" she says, looking confused.

"Be right back!" I promise, running into the kitchen. I turn on the camera. I click the picture. "Yes! Haha! This is totally going on facebook!" I laugh.

"What on Earth is that?" Mrs. Diamond says from behind me.

"My tower of meat!" I exclaim proudly.

"Oh…it's….unique." she says, trying to figure out what to say.

"Yeah it is!" I yell.

"Um, do you need a ride to the hospital?" she asks me, trying to snap her gaze away from the meat.

"Yeah! That'd be great." I say.

"Alright, let's go." She says, and we walk out the door.

**James's POV**

Logan left about an hour ago. The doctor said he needs to examine me. So far it hasn't been fun. He'll poke and prod all around my body, and it hurts. And here's the worst part: I can't move my legs. At all. The doctor doesn't know if it's permanent. He's going to do some more tests. I'll probably need some surgery. I don't want to admit this to anyone, but I'm really scared. I've never had surgery before. I want to cry, but I won't do that in front of the doctors. I want them to think I'm strong.

"Well James, I'm going to have to run some more tests. But we'll do those later, you look tired." Dr. Heath says.

"I'm fine Doc." I say, trying to sound strong, but my voice sounds so pathetic I don't belive myself.

"I'll just leave you in case you change your mind." He says smiling down at me. "You don't have to act so strong. You've been through a lot." He says, and then walks out. I sigh. I wish everyone would stop saying that. I hear footsteps down the hall, and look up. Suddenly Carlos runs into my room.

"What's up James!" he exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Hey man." I say, trying to sound entergetic.

"How are ya dude?" he asks, plopping down on my bed. I wince at the quick movement of my bed. "Sorry." He says, realizing what he did.

"It's cool." I reply.

"So are you ok?" he asks, suddenly serious.

"I guess. I can't move my legs." I say without emotion.

"What?" he says, looking shocked.

"I cannot move my legs." I repeat.

"Are you serious?" he says, looking down. He puts a hand on my left leg. "You can't feel them?"

"Not at all. I can't feel your hand." I say, trying to hold back tears.

"Dude….that….sucks." Carlos says awkwardly.

"Yeah." I agree. It's silent for a little bit, like we don't know what else to say.

"Um, I did something really cool today." He brings up.

"Really? What?" I say, actually interested in what he has to say. _It's been so boring, I need a good story. _

"I built, a 3 foot tower, of MEAT!" he exclaims. He has his trademark Carlos grin on.

"Dude…that's….awesome!" I exclaim. _It really is!_ We bump fists and do the thing where we wave our fingers away from each other. We're both laughing.

"I know it is! It had bacon, ham, turkey, and sausage. It is meat-tastic man!" he explains excitedly.

"Aw, I wish I could see it." I say sadly.

"Oh! You can! I took a picture." He says, pulling his camera out of his jacket pocket.

"No way."

"Yeah! Look!" he says, holding the camera up to me. I look and see a giant pile of meat.

"Dude, that is legit." I say, smiling.

"Yeah it is. Totally." He agrees, putting the camera away. We're both laughing. I hadn't laughed in a while. It felt good.

"Thanks for coming in here man. You made me feel so much better." I tell him.

"No problem. I'm glad I could help." He says.

_I'm so glad I have good friends like him._

**There's a Carlos chapter for you **** I hope it was okay. Review plz!**


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